Monday 13 July 2009

'Ageism If Your Over Fifty Forget It.'

You know I had never really thought much about my age. Most of the time I don't feel it, and people have always insisted that I don't look it, [which is very kind of them.]
But that's beside the point, as far as I am concerned it should never be that much of an issue.
However sadly I am afraid I've found out that it is, especially here in the UK.

You see, I did a press release for my latest book 'Valley of Shadows.'
The heading was 'Valley of Shadows, A Novel Born Out Of Personal Tragedy.'
Quite soon there was interest in my press release, and initially it all sounded very exciting. Interest was shown, contracts and money were mentioned, and rightly or wrongly I kind of forgot I was a christian, and got caught up in the excitement of it all, how I was going to spend the money ect.

But all the while there was a nagging suspicion that it was all a pipe dream, and not something I should really be getting involved with. In fact I commented to my hubby, that nothing would come of it, and sure enough I was right. However when the pipe dream ended it was not for the reason's I expected, it was because of my age.
That threw me I can tell you, and yes, it hurt.
I received an email asking how old I was, and how old my sister was at the time of her death, I knew then it was all over.

Let me explain, My sister who was six years younger than me, was shot by her husband as she slept, he then shot their two dogs, set fire to the home and then turned the gun on himself.
It was an horrendous time, and 'Valley of Shadows' was written to honour my sisters memory.
She died in March 2005, I was in my late fifties and my sister's age was about 51.

When I gave them this information, I received an email telling me that I was too old and the story about my sister was also old, and no longer newsworthy. You have to remember the press release that started all of this was purely to promote my book.
Maybe I was naive, and should have realized they would pick up on the inspiration for the book, rather than the book itself. To late, I have learned an important and painful lesson, the main one being that once you are over fifty you are of no more interest and you have nothing to say that's of any value.
In a strange way it has taken away my confidence, and saddened me. I am finding it a struggle now to shake off the heaviness in my spirit, and an awful sense of worthlessness.

The poor person who initially took up my story, is doing their very best to help me, but is constantly coming up against the barrier of rampant age prejudice.
What a sad age we live in, when it is no longer the quality of a persons work that counts, but how old they are.
Why don't they just bring in euthanasia, for all of us who are over the age of sixty. I'm sure the powers that be, would love to do that. And believe me it will come and probably in my lifetime, under the excuse we can no longer afford to pay the pensions.
Am I bothered No!! 'For to live is Christ and to die is gain.'
Even though for me it's a win, win situation, it is still very sad for all us older folks who are talented, and still have so much more to share.
But I refuse to be written off as old and useless. With Gods help I will regain my confidence, and I will fulfill the plan and purpose that He has for my life. I will Glorify Him before I draw my last breath. That's a promise!!!!

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